Trying to clear my head...

So Clayton wrote me and decided he's living with Nathan this coming semester. I won't lie and say I didn't feel somewhat betrayed, even though I did see it coming. Still, it was a tough break for me. We had made a deal to be roomies after our missions, and it hurt to have him decide against that. It also threw me into a world of other emotions; fear, for one. What if I can't find housing I like? What if my roommates don't like me? What if I don't like them? I am not exactly the easiest person to really become friends with; I can get along with lots of people, but, well, I'm weird, and that makes me worry about finding people who are also weird or who are ok with weird. What's more, I am imperfect in many ways, and I worry about my roommates really disliking me, my messiness, my unstoppable desire to flirt, etc.
On the other hand, it's not like I'm really angry with Clayton. He has every right to live with whoever he wants to. He wants to take some classes with me, which I'm sure I'd enjoy, and so we'll see what comes of that.
Mommy, accidentally, raised the question... do I think he just doesn't want to room with me, and this is his way of getting out of it? I don't think that at all, but it certainly gave rise to some bad thoughts. Oh, the ego is such a tender, fragile thing!
So anyway, I am now officially bummed and on my own, and I still have no idea of where I'm living in January or what I'm majoring in, and I have almost no friends in Porterville and my birthday's on Saturday. But, on the other hand, I have all of my limbs, a loving family (even when they are far from me), good looks (not rogueish, mind you- I am the take-him-home-to-mama kind of hansdome :) ), an irresistable charm, a good job, and more than enough to eat and drink basically at whim. So I'm still pretty happy, when I take the time to stop and count my blessings.
However, don't hesitate to call or email and shower me with sympathy and love at any time.